Author - S McGrath
Cornwall vs University, Colin Maiden Park no2
Top Order Clicks for Mainstream:
In what may be arguably the best top order batting seen by Mainstream over the past season and a half, Saturdays victory against University was made possible by the pummelling of the oppositions bowling lineup. Lead by a superb knock of 85 from Marlow King and ably supported by Paul Smith (64 no) , Mainstream totalled 264.
It was far from the perfect game however as the bowlers could not quite clean up the Uni batsman until late in the evening. What made it worse was the result was never in doubt. Although bowling well, Mainstream were hindered by some poor umpiring decisions in which an LBW decision couldn’t have been bought with all the tea in China (no offence Ping) and the majority of the wide calls just missing off stump.
However, eventually the finish came with Mainstream easy winners by 126 runs.
Mainstream were sent into bat and much focus was on Ben and whether he could break his string of ducks . He seems to be collecting them with such regularity that the little blighters down at Western Springs were thinking he may be targeting their population anytime soon. The roar from the sidelines was deafening (embellishing here) when he knocked away a single and had his first run in a month. The joy however was soon over as Ping uprooted his middle stump.
Another middle stump was also uprooted by a Scott Elsmore thunderbolt – but more of that later.
More of the same as Tim continued his rich vein of form producing a solid 25. A partnership of 63 between Tim and Simon was cruelly cut short by what appears to be a developing trait within the Mainstream umpiring camp. Following on from last weeks ‘dismissal’ of Smith from the Sheriff came Packages ‘decision from another planet’.
After successfully piling on the runs against Unis opening bowlers Ping, and what could only be described as Shaun Pollocks lost brother – Rupert, McGrath was given out LBW to a ball pitching on leg and continuing off in the same direction.
Showing that he really does never think before he speaks, Package had his finger up quicker than a rat up a drain pipe . Sometime later Package was heard to say “Sorry mate, in hindsight…..” blah blah f*cking blah, McGrath was then heard to say, “Sorry mate, I’m out of ya wedding party”
The only good from the outcome though was it brought Marlow to the wicket and he soon set about dismantling the part timers that Uni dished up to him. In what would have been a much deserved alltime Mainstream highscore with the bat, and a century in the offing, King lost his wicket to exhaustion rather than being undone by the bowling.
Smith made a rollicking start to his innings but in one of the most bizarre pieces of play actually slowed DOWN his scoring upon reaching his maiden 50. In a time when acceleration was the key, Smith and Butler (16no) decided death batting was not to hit the boundary but to put the scoreboard on lockdown.
This reporter now believes that the big hitting capabilities of Package need to come to the fore in these situations. In 2 of the last 3 matches, Package has been unable to make contact with the ball in the last few overs – with hitting firepower ready to come in ( Allen, Maclean, Elsmore - and the unpredictability of Fred) Mainstream in my belief fell about 25-30 runs short of what they could have achieved. Smith too had some issues – from the sidelines you could practically see his brain working out his new average if he remained not out. 3 runs off the last over, 4 off the second to last and 3 off the third to last from these two batsman – something needs to be said.
On to the bowling – a solid display again by the bowlers, and although the world wasn’t set on fire ( see aboves umpiring decisions to see the halted momentum) One of the most entertaining pieces in a fairly dull 2nd innings was the misfortunate shot to the underside of a Uni batsmans testicles.
Courtesy of an Elsmore crackerjack, the poor little bloke took a delivery apparently UNDER his box. He walked off rather gingerly saying that he might come back a little later – the fact he did was testament to his courage. The bulge in his whites was slightly more noticeable , however, I think if he wore his tight Levis that night out to the bar, he may very well have been a hit with the ladies.
Finally, sometime around 630pm the result was finalised – an out and out bollocking of a poorly playing University side.
PostScript
A must mention of Dan trying to tear himself a new one by feet going one way, his body going the other way and coming up with a face plant while fielding. Well, i say while fielding - he was in the field but the ball was nowhere near him , so how the hell he fell over is anyones guess.
